“In these moments when everything changes and we feel our life and its circumstances are no longer in our control, it is necessary to create new resources to be able to calmly face crises and transform them into opportunities for growth.”
The first thing we must bear in mind is that, throughout our lives, there are countless conflicts, large or small, of greater or lesser intensity. Sometimes a conflict is generated within us when a friend invites us to have a coffee. We don’t want to go, but we don’t want to say no to either! Other times conflicts lead us to vital crises and to rethink different areas of our life. So trying to avoid conflict, whether big or small, will only lead you time and again to spaces of suffering. It is much better to face them when they begin to appear and not wait for them to “resolve themselves.”
So here I leave you some keys to consciously face change.
How do you relate to change?
The first thing is to become aware of how you face changes in your life. Do you allow life to “flow” and surprise you or do you feel the need to control everything? The truth is there are very few things in life that we can control and you have probably already realized it. And this brings us to the second point.
Don’t fight battles that don’t belong to you.
Sometimes we insist on fighting battles that do not belong to us. That leads us to spend much time, strength and energy on issues that we cannot solve. You can solve what depends on you, only that. So the next time you find yourself in a situation that wears you out, tires you or leaves you without strength, ask yourself: is this situation up to me? Can I do something to solve it? If not, the healthiest thing for you and for others is to let it go and trust that the other person can solve it for themselves.
Every change involves a grieving process.
Whenever there is a change, something is lost and, therefore, we must deal with the pain that its loss entails. If we lose something that we considered very valuable, the pain will be greater and the grieving process will last longer. Sadness is one of the emotions that accompanies us while we go through grief. Don’t be scared if sadness comes into your life. It allows you to stop, slow down the rhythm of your day-to-day to heal and face change with greater force and serenity. All of our emotions are great messengers and they come into our lives for a reason.
The abrupt changes and the subtle changes.
There are different changes. Some are abrupt and are the ones that cost us the most because they confront us with our loss of control. But there are also subtle changes like the passage of time as the days go by. We are unaware of the number of daily changes that happen to us. Being present in your life, living your life fully aware of the small changes allows you to face the big changes with greater serenity.
And finally, we could say that acceptance is the fundamental principle for facing the changes in life and transforming them into growth. Accepting what you cannot change is vitally important so that you can move on with your life.
That includes truly accepting yourself. For more about this, please read my article “I love each and every one of the women that inhabit me”
Lifestyle. Mental Wellbeing. Women’s Empowerment.
Photo by Paola Aguilar.